Faith Noodles

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needing doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"

Every now and then, I still get down about how I failed my exam and stare listlessly into space as the date of my exam resit draws near. Sure, there are some things outside of my control that I can't change that may be making things harder for me. Other people, for example. But really, the only thing I have control over is my response. (Get ready, this future therapist is about to validate herself and normalise her response) If anything, it is so normal for me to feel this down, this frightened, this upset, this angry over all that's happened and given what's happened after. Is it reasonable for me to expect myself to find it easy, to sail through, to not get upset, to get everything right as I practice for my finals? No, that's quite unreasonable of me and these rigid standards are probably not helping me. I do need to give myself a break :) However, at the same time, I need to both give myself permission to find this hard, but also, I need to reach for God'...