Faith Noodles

I did not write this poem. I wait, And time ticks past. I gaze, Made silent by the sight. I watch, As soldiers meticulously move Executing each terrible, torturous task. I gasp, Still life lingers in His fragile, broken form. I flinch, As blow by blow, Nails bite deep through flesh to find wood. I stand As He is lifted high, Silhouetted ‘against the sky which He has made. I weep As His cry echoes deep in my hardened, calloused heart. I wail, As He screams ‘it is complete, Finished, final, said and done.’ I fall, As the sky turns inky black And the sun and moon and stars forget to shine. I kneel, As worlds collide, And time ticks by; What once bound, no longer seems to hold. I bow, For part of me is gone, Kept forever on Calvary’s painful peak. I wait, At the foot of the cross, to begin my journey home.

Meet You-You! (You  右 , meaning right - she has a black spot on the RHS) I took care of her during my trip back home. After our home got broken into and my spaniel (now very old) was absolutely useless in barking or preventing the thieves from coming in, my aunt and grandma decided it was time to get a new dog that barked. It's really weird, my spaniel barks at specific trucks (specifically, trucks that carry hunting dogs) and he barks at dogs, but when it comes to people everyone is my friend. I used to joke that Teddy (my spaniel) was so friendly that he would even shake hands with a thief, and this time - it proved to be quite true. Hmm. He was right there, at my door step (chained up though) when the thief came and my grandma who stayed next door said she did not even hear him make a sound. My uncle, trying to make light of the situation said that Teddy was wishing the thief gong xi fa cai.  So we adopted You-You! Haha, I won't forget how my uncle used to call her Me-Me...

Dear God, Why is it so easy for me to see how You can work things out for good in another friend's situation and so difficult for me to see what You are doing in my own? Can you open my eyes to see?

Ah, so my first week of clinic placements have gone by (and tomorrow, my second week will start again, heheh)! Me, being the enthusiastic person that I am, signed up to be the FIRST on placement (well, to be honest, I'm terrified of it, that's why I wanted to be first so I could get it over and done with, instead of dreading it). The weird thing is, I worked my butt off to get into this program - and now I'm super terrified about the practical side of it even though it was the very thing I was so passionate about doing?!  These are a few lessons I hold quite close to my heart after studying why God responded so differently to Cain and Abel's offerings in Genesis 4. Helped me a lot through my first week too. :) 1. It's not about how things appear to others (achievements/actions look alike outwardly and man may accept both to be equal, but God who sees not as man sees, does not), it's about my heart and how it appears before God. 2. Abel did not give God lef...

Absolutely love this (: Sometimes, when you are going through a hard time, you just can't move or don't want to move. Your regular routines and responsibilities appear so trivial, so insignificant. But when there are simple, straightforward jobs to be done (e.g., my part time job, research proposal, ethics application, test prep, placement prep, house chores etc), and tears are flowing easily, go ahead and do the jobs with tears (but avoid wearing eye make-up that isn't waterproof). Say to your tears: 'Tears, I feel you. You make me want to quit life. But there is a field to be sown. I know you will wet my face several times today, but I have work to do and you will just have to go with me. I intend to take the bag of seeds and sow. If you come along then you will just have to wet the rows.'

Yaaaaaayyyyy!! I did well enough in my research project to confirm my position in the doctoral program I'm doing. GOD, I just thank YOU! And a massive THANKS to everyone who has supported me at different points in my journey to secure my future career.. what a ride it's been, what amazing "cheerleaders" I've had (: Wheee! After all those years of frustration, my future career is a bit clearer now! Well, the ride isn't over yet, I still have three years to go, but at least I'm on my way now :) Have shed too many tears for this particular project and I had to work on it (and isolate myself) through Christmas and the new year. Not to mention how it cost a few precious days of shopping in Singapore.. ah, my heart still aches thinking about it :( I just think God is so gracious because one of the main reasons I had to work overtime for my project was because I didn't start working on it earlier (too much procrastination and Running Man; if you don...

Something I'm finding hard to do but want to do.. whatever the size of the offence. You hurt me.. I want to stop wanting to retaliate. Simply because Jesus has already released me of my large debt (sin) on the cross. Romans 12:17-21 "Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even ; that's not for you to do. ' I'll do the judging ,' says God. 'I'll take care of it.' Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness." (The Message) "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone . Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will ...

I heard this song on the radio yesterday. I think it really encapsulates my journey with God so far :-) I remembered telling a friend of mine that I've never been one to get cynical with God. It really shocked me when I noticed shards of cynicism in me last year and I began to entertain thoughts like, "What's the point of hoping and praying? God doesn't hear you."  I mean I've been desperately praying this particular prayer for someone for a few years now and He still hasn't fully answered my prayer. I guess cynicism is sort of a state without hope -  the "whys" and "how could yous" protect you from crushing disappointment, but cynicism took away the intimacy I had with God. But this song brought to my attention that in all I've faced up till now, God has actually always sustained me in the midst of my tough circumstances and that His faithfulness is perfect.. for every bad thing that's happened, in it, there's always be...

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. So I spent at least FOUR days tidying my room. I got rid of three bags (jumbo-sized) full of wool (clothes) :P Went through every article of clothing, every book, every bible study sheet, every shoe, every pencil. I wasn't very impressed with the amount of junk I've accumulated over 6 years. My nose wasn't either, in fact, it was quite swollen for awhile with all the dust flying around. Self-induced hayfever. Also went through all my school/uni notes in the storeroom and threw away at least four boxes full of paper. My wheely recycling bin (you know the big green one) is half full now with all the notes. I've not thrown away ANYTHING study-related for at least 6 years, been loaning them out or keeping them for "future reference" but I think it's just taking up too much space now. I mean, I even have my Form 5 Chemistry tuition notes. -_- Oh, and I keep scrap paper too - e.g., we...