Growing

31/8
God always teaches us a lesson when we go through pain. In God's economy, nothing is wasted - not a single tear. I learned that God always goes before us to prepare the way. I learned that if we are diligent enough to seek Him and pray, He will really lead us to make the right decisions - and later, we'll find out that it was undeniably the right one =)! I've learnt that He gives strength to the weary and we can always trust Him to meet the needs of people we care so much about. I learned that He is indeed Jehovah Jireh, OUR Provider. =) He puts people in the right place at the right time. He enables you to REJOICE when it hurts, because you know, He holds the future and you know, the joy of the Lord is immutable, undimmed by circumstances. He provides friends along the way to carry your burdens, watch you cry.. how blessed I am.. :')

I've been going to the hospital a lot lately. It's like my second home. And I'm learning SO MUCH from the kids there.

There's this one boy I met there named Sam. He looks SO MUCH like Mark Lester, but Sam isn't a Broadway star - no, he's a motorcycle rookie! This morning, he showed me pictures of him when he was seven - riding his mini motorbike and he got first place in all of NZ! Cool eh? ;)
He has this severe pain in his tummy, doctors think it's his gall bladder. Few days ago they put an endoscope down his throat and in the process, his throat got scabbed. So now, there's an excruciating pain in his throat. Every night, he's supposed to take his meds, but he doesn't want to because his throat hurts a WHOLE lot. His mum always goes out of the hospital room every time because she can't stand watching her little boy going through so much pain. He's a fighter though, little Sam. This morning I asked him whether he liked cats or kittens more. Surprisingly, he said, "cats". (most kids prefer kittens) I asked him why and he said, "It's because the SPCA puts a lot of cats down. 'cos most people want kittens. So I like cats."

There's this other 12-year-old boy named Joshua. And last night, my mum showed me a few of his poems and man, this boy can write! Ohh, but he just refuses to eat, which is worrying his mum a whole lot. His mum's really worn out from trying to get him to eat, and she lives so far away, so she's gonna leave him in the hospital this whole week and see whether or not the nurses can coax him to eat.

The two boys above and their parents really need prayer.

2/9
I brought taboo down yesterday (it's a board game), and the two girls and I invaded Josh's room (with the nurse's permission) and played it with him. It made my day seeing him smile =)
And I brought Game of life as well - the electronic version. And Sam was hooked on it! He made me play with him THREE times. He even interrupted us whilst we were playing taboo with Josh but i hardly played with Josh that day, so I had to tell little Sam I couldn't play with him.

Yesterday I spent 11am onwards in the hospital. I better not do that today although I really want to. I'll go after 3. AFTER 3. AFTER 3. AFTER 3. I really have to keep up with my work.It's just not right to compromise my work. Uh huh, Abby - don't just say you're gonna do it - do it. And God's gonna give me the strength and the discipline to do it! He IS! HE IS ABLE.

It's like a struggle inside. Sometimes, all I want to do is have a proper holiday. Sprawl on the couch, read "The Kite Runner" or watch the whole series of "Pride and Prejudice" or one of those Korean dramas collecting dust in one corner of my house, but ahh.. ABBY.. snap out of it. I am having a proper holiday - for once, I am serving others, instead of myself. Of course, I know I need to take time off too, I will eventually - but right now, I think, my sis really needs me. Sorry, I know I'm speaking in riddles and you probably can't make head or tail of what's really happening, but I'm afraid I'm not gonna give you the full pic =) Jigsaw puzzles are fun, no? ;)

There is so much pain in the world. Why do children have to go through so much pain? Oh, I have no answers. Surely, God's heart is breaking seeing what these kids go through. But Jesus, our Great Physician - did not come for those who are well, but for the sick. He came for these boys.
He came for hurting humanity.

We need to be looking OUTWARD, not inward. Leave all the narcissism (and self-consciousness) behind. Think more about someone other than ourselves. Only then can we make a difference. I'm not saying I'm 'perfect' or anything. I'm far from that. By nature, I'm a super egocentric self-conscious timid miss-I-only-care-about myself person - God had to allow things to happen in my life to allow me to have the perspective I have now, and His Word has transformed me so much. Yet, I sometimes forget and fail to obey Him. Help me not to Lord. =) Thank You Lord for the trials that come my way..