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Uncomfortable memories

I wanted to reflect on a few things I couldn't do when I had my disc injury last year because again, I think it's important to see how far God has brought me. Warning that this is a hard read/ a bit of a downer, but it also might help you be grateful for so many movements we take for granted! These were 7 things I couldn't do at the height of my pain, but thankfully can now do. 1. Cutting my toenails - bending over was so painful and so hard for a few months and needed help with clipping them, which was so humbling 🦶🏻🦶🏻 2. Changing - it was quite painful to twist my body to change my clothes. Gosh I remember having so little motivation to get out of my pajamas or not even caring what I wear for work when I usually enjoy dressing up 🧥👚👗 3. Sitting - probably the most painful activity of all, and I still have limits to this. For about 6 months, I could only sit for 30 mins before I experienced the disc pain. Those were the days where I had to stand up every 30 minutes ...
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Just keep swimming

I think God is really really teaching me a lesson of perseverance in this season of my recovery. This season has undeniably bore such beautiful gifts, and the frustrations it comes with are real and tough too. Sometimes, I just ask God questions, not knowing if He will answer, but trusting that He lends me His ears to hear me. How much longer, God? Why can't I (fill in the blanks with my frustrations towards myself)?  Why can't You (fill in the blanks with my frustrations towards God)? At the heart of these questions, I think the main question I ask God is:  Do You see me God? Do You care for me? My most recent question I asked God is why did You allow this recent flare-up with my back to happen?  Everything was going so well and then You allowed me to have a setback. This even happened just before I was planning to join my church music team to play for an Alpha camp. I had to plan the day so I made sure I had enough rest and I couldn't as carefreely serve. Th...
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Worries big and small

I remembered asking God why.. so often while I'm singing or while listening to the pastor preach or when I'm at my small group, my strength is renewed, my cares are released and my faith deepened. But not long after, I return to my tasks and responsibilities with drudgery and I worry worry worry worry worry. I got my answer through this sermon I was listening to: it's because though I lay my burdens down while I'm at church, at the end of the church service - I pick up my burdens and take the whole pile with me out the door. Ha. And this little article I just read (below) is pretty much saying the same thing, really blessed by it! ‘Casting all of your anxiety on Him because he cares for you’ 1 Peter 5:7. The word casting means to throw upon. It’s a deliberate forceful throwing. Some suggest Peter used this term because he was a fisherman and that involves taking a fishing net and forcefully throwing it out from the boat. Peter is actually quoting from Psalm 55:22...
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