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Be still

I blame the difficult trials of my life for my lack of faith. That these prolonged trials erode my faith little by little as time goes by, and I start to have lower and lower expectations of my great God.

But now God is causing me to see that my lack of faith comes from my own inability to trust in what I cannot see when the odds seem so against me. My desire to retreat to believing in what I can see, what's safe and not desiring to invest my heart's passions and desires into what I know God is passionate about too. It is much easier to dwell on soothing emotions of self-pity than to discipline my mind to focus on God's great truths.

Yes, if I don't pass my next exam in 4 months, I may never get registered as a clinical psychologist, there is so much anguish as I struggle with the possibility of this becoming a reality.. but oh, how this truth I am blogging about so refreshes my heart.

This dream God has put in my heart, I want it so much. I want to spend the rest of my life working on such a deep level with people who are hurting. I know I'm good at it, I know I have the ability to connect with people easily, and that my sincerity, genuineness and warmth come across really strongly. I love praying for my clients, and hearing their stories, their passions and their hopes. I know I'm smart enough to pass my next exam. I know God will teach me how to calm down my next exam. And so I want to have great expectations of my God as I prepare to sit for my next exam, and be still and know He is God.

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