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Grieving

I am now flying back after three days of visiting my hometown. During those three days, I had a chance to celebrate my grandmother’s life with so many who love her. We knew that her condition was declining, but her passing took us all by surprise. This emotion of grief is not a new one, but the intensity at which I am feeling it is. This is the first time I have ever lost someone so near and so dear to me. This emotion feels similar to a break-up, where there is this intense pain and longing, but it is so much worse. The reality that I will not get to see her again until I get to heaven is a hard one. And yet, as I typed that sentence, I realise that the reality that I will get to see her again is an incredibly comforting one. When I walked into her living room and saw her body lying in the chiller, I expected to break down, but there was such a look of peace on her face that I could not help but quiet my heart and share in my grandma’s joy that she is now reunited with Jesu...

Tribute to my grandma

My earliest childhood memory takes me back to my grandmother tinkering on the piano with two fingers as she taught me how to sing “Three Blind Mice”. I remember Mah Mah writing out the lyrics to “This is the way I brush my teeth”, which I stuck proudly on my bathroom wall and sing along to as I brushed my teeth with glee. She would go on to teach me many of her favourite songs as I grew older. She had the biggest smile and her eyes would twinkle as she smiled. Reflecting back on my childhood and teenage years, I realise how my grandma’s sacrificial love has shaped me. Every Sunday, my family, cousins, aunties and uncles would gather at my grandparent’s place. Mah Mah would cook delicious meals for us, ask us about our week and listen with much curiosity. I remember her massive pot of laksa (with chicken feet of course!), chicken rice (secret family recipe which I do have in my possession!), nasi lemak (which would always sell out in Parish Sales), tau-iu-bak (sweet soy chicken), and t...

Little things I am grateful for today

I just feel this sudden urge to blog about the little things that I am thankful to God for today. It has been a hard week, and I have been so encouraged by little things God has put in my way today. There are probably many little things that He has put in my way each day, but I have missed it being so preoccupied with my worries, or I have noticed it and forgot to thank Him for it! The little things that I want to thank You, God for today are: 1. My colleague who is so task-focused, out of the blue, noticing and complimenting me on my new eyeshadow colour 2. Catching up with an old friend 3. Having a therapy puppy to play with at work whenever my mind needs a bit of a break 4. Being able to tell God, everything! Literally everything and how patient He is with me 5. My grandma listening to my guitar playing, even though I don't know how to play it very well 6. Finding a parking space quickly 7. How God has helped me to be present in my interactions, I have so enjoyed bein...

Thankful

When he lost his wallet, Matthew Henry, a theologian, had this to say: Let me be thankful, first, because he never robbed me before; Second, because although he took my purse, he did not take my life; Third, because although he took all I possessed, it was not much; And fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed. I was in a minor car accident today. Sadly, the guy who hit me ran away as soon as he did it, but I managed to get his car plate number. At first, all I could think of was a trail of self-pity thoughts, and also, feeling wronged, and also, the inconvenience this will cause me. So grateful that God brought this to my mind after the accident. My pastor shared this quote in one of his sermons, and it really struck me how people who know their God have great contentment in God - so much so that they continue to trust Him and rest in Him even in yuck circumstances. "I have learnt the secret of being content in any and every situation," apo...

Michelangelo's reality check

My life's journey has finally arrived After a stormy sea, in a fragile boat, at the common port Through which all must past to render an account and explanation of their every act, Evil and devout. So now I fully recognise how my fond imagination Which made art for me an idol and a tyrant Was laden with error as is that which all me desire to their own harm. What will now become of my former thoughts of love Empty yet happy, if I am now approaching a double death? Of one I am quite certain and the other threatens me. Neither painting nor sculpting can any longer quieten my soul Turned now to that divine love which on the cross To embrace us, opened wide it's arms This is a poem by Michelangelo written near his time of death. I came across it while visiting the Santa Maria museum in Florence. Europe was spectacular, I learnt so much about Medieval and Renaissance art and architecture, and I was really taken aback by how much time artists devoted themselves to t...

A selah moment

Pause. How often do we pause to reflect on things? Or are we just hurriedly and distractedly going about life's daily grind? Although its exact meaning is not known, scholars have thought that the word "selah" which often appears in Psalms and Habakkuk means to stop and ponder. It usually occurs at a place where a very significant statement has been made, and it was understood that singers and musicians were to stop at these points to ponder what has been said. To "selah" is probably something we should do as well, after a significant event takes place so we can gain an understanding what God has done and is doing in His life. I would like to pause and ponder today. I am just blown away by God's goodness. My maternity cover role is now a permanent role, even before I started my job. This whole gruel process of God maturing me through hardships (so much work yet to be done in me), hard as it was, I don't know if I would trade it for a...

And when you heap up wealth

I really don't know how to compose this blog post because I intended it to be a reflection of what I have been learning from the books of the bible written by Moses. The problem is, there is so much I have learnt about God and myself in these books, and I can't make up my mind on which one I want to reflect on :) Hehe, how is that even a problem? I guess I'll just go with the flow, but there is a key one that really stood out to me about following Jesus in times of success (I'll leave it for the end of the post). A friend of mine introduced me to this YouTube channel, the Bible Project, and it has really helped with understanding the events that occurred while the Israelites were travelling in the wilderness to the Promised Land, and the strange laws God gave to the Israelites make so much more sense when you consider the wider context. I think what really stood out to me was how real God is in these books, as real as any person you and I will come across today. You ...