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Thanksgiving

(warning! musshhyy to the extreme)
If there is anyone in my life that I am most thankful to have and know I can never do without, it's God, my Daddy, my Pa.
You saw that coming right?
It's You who sustained and helped me through the times when I was 4, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21 and 22.
All those years were hard but amazing years for me 'cos You just used it so that I could know You better. You've collected all my tears over all these years (how many litres already ah? :P), You know my sorrows and my joys, the things I think are cute and the things that make me happy and not-so-happy. I just can't begin to imagine that every day of my life is already written in your book. It makes me feel so secure and so unafraid of whatever may happen. Like how You helped me through those years, You will help me through however long I may live till. My heart just sings along with the psalmist: "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" (Psalm 139:17-18)

You saw those events coming before they did, and You were with me as they happened and still are with me after. "You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue.. You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me." (Pslam 139:3-5)

You not only provided me with Yourself, which was all I needed :) TRULY. On top of that, You've given me such amazing people to enrich my life, material stuff that I need and want, work for me to enjoy, nature, even not-so-pleasant challenges and trials to teach me all the more about You :) What a Dad You have been and are, what a refuge and safe place You have been in the rough times, what intimate treasures You have brought to me in the darkness, what joy You've filled me with, what courage You have given this timid and scared girl, how much You have given me.

Why do I doubt You? Why do I sometimes love youtube and painting my nails more than spending time with You? Why do I chase personal success so much? Why on earth do I worry as much as I breathe when "the One who reigns forever is a friend of mine"? How can I forget who You really are, Dad?

So though I really really don't have anything of worth to offer You (even an A+ on this research project I'm working on and stressing so much about is nothing) compared to all You've done, I want to say that I want to love You better and know You more. All I'm worried about about today and tomorrow.. it's all gonna be okay. If I could hug You right now I would (maybe later? :P) but I just want to say thank You Daddy for everything.. how precious are Your thoughts about me.

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