Faith Noodles

Make sure you read this again with your name in it :) God is such a personal God. We did this in church this morning, this is just so stunning. I stand in awe of You, Father. Isaiah 53:4-6 (personalised) Surely He took up Abby's pain and bore Abby's suffering, yet Abby considered him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for Abby's transgressions, He was crushed for Abby's iniquities; the punishment that brought Abby peace was on Him, and by His wounds Abby is healed. Abby, like sheep, has gone astray, Abby has turned to her own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of Abby.

I just spent three weeks in Europe with my extended family and one of my closest friends, all of whom I love to bits. I haven't seen one of my cousins for like 8 years and another friend for like 5 years? (I don't know how long!) I wasn't supposed to go, because I'm supposed to be writing my thesis and seeing more clients to prepare for my exam. I have been reasonably traumatized from all that's taken place (self-diagnosis: acute stress disorder with anxiety and depressive symptoms) and I felt like I really really needed to have a break. I really thank You, God, for this opportunity. I just felt like "I", not my uni, was in control of my time. Sometimes I just feel so "trapped", and I'm trying so hard to keep it together. And during those three weeks away.. I remember how it was to just be me, and not have to try so hard to meet the world's (or my uni's) expectations. I remember what it's like to just goof around and be sil...

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needing doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"

Every now and then, I still get down about how I failed my exam and stare listlessly into space as the date of my exam resit draws near. Sure, there are some things outside of my control that I can't change that may be making things harder for me. Other people, for example. But really, the only thing I have control over is my response. (Get ready, this future therapist is about to validate herself and normalise her response) If anything, it is so normal for me to feel this down, this frightened, this upset, this angry over all that's happened and given what's happened after. Is it reasonable for me to expect myself to find it easy, to sail through, to not get upset, to get everything right as I practice for my finals? No, that's quite unreasonable of me and these rigid standards are probably not helping me. I do need to give myself a break :) However, at the same time, I need to both give myself permission to find this hard, but also, I need to reach for God'...

Tintin, my mixed poodle and bichon, has such a sweet nature! I've just moved back home 2 months ago. He sleeps in my parents' room right, and so, every morning when he hears my voice, he'll run out of their room and greet me, even as early as 6am! (I've woken up earlier, and he hasn't bothered to get up) My heart is so touched by this doggies affection to greet me first thing in the morning. And it just made me think about how God would feel if I excitedly wake up each morning to greet Him with affection, reverence and awe. "Good morning, Pa! I can't wait to spend this day with You! I can't wait to trust You and walk with You today! You're soo special to me! I can't wait to love and be loved by You!" Tintin was feeling unwell yesterday. It was about 9pm, I was asleep on the couch. He jumps up on the couch, walks all over me and sits on me, shivering and panting. I woke up a little startled and realise he must be feeling quite unwell be...

Hebrews 12:5-11 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,     and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves,     and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s ...

I am in a different season in my life. A season of discipline and perseverance. I feel discouraged at times with how much work I have to do, repeated failures and I doubt myself so much. It's a season where I learn to face my deepest fears, learn to let go of them and fear the Lord instead. It's where I am learning to work hard passionately,  wholeheartedly rather than put off things because they're too scary. I am learning to discipline my mind to memorise precious chunks of psalms (not something I've done before), to be more aware of the lies of the enemy and to fix my thoughts and heart on God. I am in a season of weakness and dependence. It's uncomfortable, cold and hard. I feel ashamed at times. My fears and despair sometimes feel uncontrollable. Where I'm the one who is usually strong, supporting others and praying for them, now I have no strength. Now I am needing so much encouragement and prayers from others. I know what broken, hopeless and helples...