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Seeds do grow

Often times, when I try and share God's love through my actions or sometimes through my words, I second guess myself. Thoughts like, "that never made a difference", "they'll just think you sounded silly", or "you didn't get through to them" come to my mind. Life's been "busy" (the best excuse I can come up with) and I have to confess that I haven't been sharing my faith as intentionally as I should be. And being in such a secular culture, I'm so afraid to open my mouth and talk about Christianity. And I do try (but maybe not hard enough) to show love to my colleagues and friends through my actions, but sometimes I wonder if it's all in vain.

You know, I realise I'm not second guessing myself, I'm actually second guessing God - and I shouldn't be. His Word clearly says that ""God's kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man, who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows--he has no idea how it happens. The earth does it all without his help: first a green stem of grass, then a bud, then the ripened grain. When the grain is fully formed, he reaps--harvest time!" Mark 4:26-28

This verse is so encouraging especially the bit about the seed sprouting and growing, and the guy who did the sowing has no idea how it happens - the earth does it all without his help! - it's out of his control, it's not his responsibility - his responsibility was to sow - and the man's not tied up like I am, worrying and second-guessing myself that what I'd done made no difference whatsover. Noo, the guy was able to go to bed and forget all about it! He probably went: God - I've done my part - now it's over to You, I'm gonna have a good snooze! :-)

In all honesty, the reason I've started on this post is because I was just reminded of an incident with a teacher of mine in high school. Though she never taught me, I worked really closely with her in speech competitions and in putting together the school magazine, and we got on really well - loved her spontaneity and spunk and big heart. Just before I left high school, I got her "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, praying that my teacher would actually read the book and not put it aside - but in my mind I was convinced, "she'll never read this". But I was *just* reminded of this conversation I had with her two years ago when I visited her at the school she was teaching. She mentioned in passing that she actually read the book I got her and I remembered being so surprised about it but I never thought much about it till now. Hahahaha. Just reflecting back on what happened, I think God is so true to His Word - that He really grows the seed - and that seed will grow without us knowing how.. I just find the fact that my teacher actually read the book so encouraging.. I'm just wondering why it took me two years to realise all this.. -__-

So I need to just continue on in what I'm doing (and much much more) to bring Christ's love to others and I just pray that they will be able to see His love in me too! (:

Indeed, we must not grow weary of doing good. The next time I second guess God, I'll remind myself of this seed analogy! (:

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