Faith Noodles

This was a poem by Sarah Trent, which I heard from a sermon, about listening for God's voice. Take your time to digest the words, it is such a beautiful depiction of God's heart for us and how our own brokenness can make it hard for us to listen sometimes. Sometimes... the clearest way to recognize His voice is not by what it says, but by what it refuses to sound like. Because not every voice that speaks inside of you belongs to Him. There are voices that rush, but He is not frantic. There are voices that accuse, but He is not cruel. There are voices that shame, but He does not press your face into yesterday and call it your identity. There are voices that confuse and tangle and overwhelm, but He is not the author of chaos. So if it crushes you... if it drives you into hiding... if it strips you of hope and leaves you gasping under the weight of it, that is not Him. His voice does not sound like condemnation echoing through your bones. It does not sound like worthlessness rehe...

I think God is really really teaching me a lesson of perseverance in this season of my recovery. This season has undeniably bore such beautiful gifts, and the frustrations it comes with are real and tough too. Sometimes, I just ask God questions, not knowing if He will answer, but trusting that He lends me His ears to hear me. How much longer, God? Why can't I (fill in the blanks with my frustrations towards myself)?  Why can't You (fill in the blanks with my frustrations towards God)? At the heart of these questions, I think the main question I ask God is:  Do You see me God? Do You care for me? My most recent question I asked God is why did You allow this recent flare-up with my back to happen?  Everything was going so well and then You allowed me to have a setback. This even happened just before I was planning to join my church music team to play for an Alpha camp. I had to plan the day so I made sure I had enough rest and I couldn't as carefreely serve. Th...

I have been reflecting and pondering a lot about how I am pacing myself these days. Whether the pace I am going in my life matches the pace God wants me to be going at. Whether the pace I am challenging myself in my rehab is too slow and cautious, and if I need to challenge myself more. And the list goes on! And also how do I know what pace is His pace?  I had the sweetest moment with my mum's dog, Tassie, the other day when I took her for a walk. I was exploring a small trail behind my house with Tassie. I don't walk as fast because my feet are still recovering and I noticed Tassie keeping on glancing back at me and slowed her pace down to match mine! Definitely had a heartmelt moment there, if that is a word.... If my mum's dog could sense that I need to go at a slower pace then, how much more would God know how to slow me down and speed me up with His wonderful intimate knowledge of me. He knows how I tick, what brings me joy, what breaks my heart, what my fears are, wha...

I wanted to reflect on a few things I couldn't do when I had my disc injury last year because again, I think it's important to see how far God has brought me. Warning that this is a hard read/ a bit of a downer, but it also might help you be grateful for so many movements we take for granted! These were 7 things I couldn't do at the height of my pain, but thankfully can now do. 1. Cutting my toenails - bending over was so painful and so hard for a few months and needed help with clipping them, which was so humbling 🦶🏻🦶🏻 2. Changing - it was quite painful to twist my body to change my clothes. Gosh I remember having so little motivation to get out of my pajamas or not even caring what I wear for work when I usually enjoy dressing up 🧥👚👗 3. Sitting - probably the most painful activity of all, and I still have limits to this. For about 6 months, I could only sit for 30 mins before I experienced the disc pain. Those were the days where I had to stand up every 30 minutes ...

I'm posting again after a 3 year hiatus (wow, that's pretty long) with encouragement from my cousin. Thanks Dan for your encouragement to blog again! I thought my first post back could be about my reflections from the past year that's just been. It was such a tough year as I had quite a serious injury and took awhile to recover and am still recovering, though I am so much better.  Sometimes you just want to forget things like that ever happened, sometimes you want to just forget that reality is hard and life is hard and our bodies will accumulate more and more problems in this broken world. Yet, I think it is wise and important for me to pause and reflect. So here are my learnings from 2024. During a year that was hard for me give to the people I love, I learned that they would continue to be there for me through the seasons, giving me a deeper experience of unconditional love. It was overwhelmingly beautiful and I felt and feel so loved. Life's too short to paint your ...

I really love this quote about the gospel that's explained in really simple language that a child would understand. It reminds me that I don't have to overcomplicate following Jesus. I think I might reduce a lot of grief for myself if I learn to let go of overthinking things, and simply trust and obey. I think it also changes how I think about stepping into the unknown. Rather than 'aaaahhh, I'm going to lose control', it feels much more like I'm heading out on an adventure with God. I still have no idea where I'm heading, but I'm being guided by a reliable and experienced mountaineer acquainted with all the different paths. :) 'Now the bible isn't just a book of rules or heroes, it's most of all a story, an adventure story of a young hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story of a brave prince who leaves his palace, his throne, everything, to rescue the one he loves. It's like the most wonderfu...

Lord, You have always given bread for the coming day; And though I am poor, Today I believe. Lord, You have always given strength for the coming day; And though I am weak, Today I believe. Lord, You have always given peace for the coming day; And though of anxious heart, Today I believe. Lord, You have always kept me safe in trials; And now, tried as I am, Today I believe. Lord, You have always marked the road for the coming day; And though it may be hidden, Today I believe. Lord, You have always lightened this darkness of mine; And though the night is here, Today I believe. Take heart, our strength is not our own. We are resilient to the extent we lean on You. Lord, You forever go before us to prepare a place for us. You are on the road we tread. Wherever life is leading us, You go before. Perhaps we have no clue about what lies ahead; We know You are ahead of us, so the future is not so unknown. - Author unknown

My pastor presented us with a really great challenge now that we are coming out of the lockdown. Think about the new practices that you have acquired during the lockdown period, which of these are important for you to keep now that life is going to start getting really busy again, and which of these might you want to let go of. I think one of the main things I have taken away during the lockdown is really learning to slow down and to be content in Christ. So I just really want to take some time to reflect on how I've slowed down during my past week :) I listened to a song I loved during my lunch break. I re-read a Scripture that really encouraged me the night before while I was at work and wrote it down on a post-it note. I acknowledged that I had navigated a therapy session well rather than focusing on what I wished I had done better. I responded to criticism without allowing myself to be more critical of myself, but rather, to be more reflective instead. I took one day of leave t...

A friend of mine asked me to share with her some things I praise God for during this time so she can also be encouraged. That question really moved me and made me think how strange Christians may seem to others - who in their right mind would praise God during a time the world is undergoing so much turmoil and grieve? So here is my response to my friend - For me, I'm grateful that God has used this time to deepen my trust and reliance on Him, and teach me about different aspects of who He is... my Friend, who is with me at every meal when I can't go out and meet friends for a meal; my strength, for each day, as work has been really draining; my peace, for teaching me I can trust God with my loved ones and in this uncertainty by turning my worries over to Him in prayer; my firm foundation, this pandemic has really exposed so many other things that I value in life to be 'sand' - these things just will not last, but God's promises will.

My church has been going through this series on gratitude, and I feel God really convicting me. If you know me, you probably know that while I may not be so inclined to grumble about my circumstances, I am definitely one to worry a lot about it. My attention is often narrowly focused on how incompetent I perceive myself to be or how I am won't be able to cope with the feared outcome. Worry takes me to a self-focused and self-serving place, and blinds me to God's presence in my situation. But gratitude for all the good gifts God has given us, including the most amazing Gift ever which is His Son, Jesus, really helps open your eyes to the presence and goodness of God. A quick squizz as well on the neuroscience behind gratitude also shows that it increases activation in the medial prefrontal cortex, which is the region of our brain that allows us to step back in situations, gather the big picture and choose our response (rather than react). I really want to - more and more - th...

I am now flying back after three days of visiting my hometown. During those three days, I had a chance to celebrate my grandmother’s life with so many who love her. We knew that her condition was declining, but her passing took us all by surprise. This emotion of grief is not a new one, but the intensity at which I am feeling it is. This is the first time I have ever lost someone so near and so dear to me. This emotion feels similar to a break-up, where there is this intense pain and longing, but it is so much worse. The reality that I will not get to see her again until I get to heaven is a hard one. And yet, as I typed that sentence, I realise that the reality that I will get to see her again is an incredibly comforting one. When I walked into her living room and saw her body lying in the chiller, I expected to break down, but there was such a look of peace on her face that I could not help but quiet my heart and share in my grandma’s joy that she is now reunited with Jesu...

My earliest childhood memory takes me back to my grandmother tinkering on the piano with two fingers as she taught me how to sing “Three Blind Mice”. I remember Mah Mah writing out the lyrics to “This is the way I brush my teeth”, which I stuck proudly on my bathroom wall and sing along to as I brushed my teeth with glee. She would go on to teach me many of her favourite songs as I grew older. She had the biggest smile and her eyes would twinkle as she smiled. Reflecting back on my childhood and teenage years, I realise how my grandma’s sacrificial love has shaped me. Every Sunday, my family, cousins, aunties and uncles would gather at my grandparent’s place. Mah Mah would cook delicious meals for us, ask us about our week and listen with much curiosity. I remember her massive pot of laksa (with chicken feet of course!), chicken rice (secret family recipe which I do have in my possession!), nasi lemak (which would always sell out in Parish Sales), tau-iu-bak (sweet soy chicken), and t...

I just feel this sudden urge to blog about the little things that I am thankful to God for today. It has been a hard week, and I have been so encouraged by little things God has put in my way today. There are probably many little things that He has put in my way each day, but I have missed it being so preoccupied with my worries, or I have noticed it and forgot to thank Him for it! The little things that I want to thank You, God for today are: 1. My colleague who is so task-focused, out of the blue, noticing and complimenting me on my new eyeshadow colour 2. Catching up with an old friend 3. Having a therapy puppy to play with at work whenever my mind needs a bit of a break 4. Being able to tell God, everything! Literally everything and how patient He is with me 5. My grandma listening to my guitar playing, even though I don't know how to play it very well 6. Finding a parking space quickly 7. How God has helped me to be present in my interactions, I have so enjoyed bein...

When he lost his wallet, Matthew Henry, a theologian, had this to say: Let me be thankful, first, because he never robbed me before; Second, because although he took my purse, he did not take my life; Third, because although he took all I possessed, it was not much; And fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed. I was in a minor car accident today. Sadly, the guy who hit me ran away as soon as he did it, but I managed to get his car plate number. At first, all I could think of was a trail of self-pity thoughts, and also, feeling wronged, and also, the inconvenience this will cause me. So grateful that God brought this to my mind after the accident. My pastor shared this quote in one of his sermons, and it really struck me how people who know their God have great contentment in God - so much so that they continue to trust Him and rest in Him even in yuck circumstances. "I have learnt the secret of being content in any and every situation," apo...

My life's journey has finally arrived After a stormy sea, in a fragile boat, at the common port Through which all must past to render an account and explanation of their every act, Evil and devout. So now I fully recognise how my fond imagination Which made art for me an idol and a tyrant Was laden with error as is that which all me desire to their own harm. What will now become of my former thoughts of love Empty yet happy, if I am now approaching a double death? Of one I am quite certain and the other threatens me. Neither painting nor sculpting can any longer quieten my soul Turned now to that divine love which on the cross To embrace us, opened wide it's arms This is a poem by Michelangelo written near his time of death. I came across it while visiting the Santa Maria museum in Florence. Europe was spectacular, I learnt so much about Medieval and Renaissance art and architecture, and I was really taken aback by how much time artists devoted themselves to t...

Pause. How often do we pause to reflect on things? Or are we just hurriedly and distractedly going about life's daily grind? Although its exact meaning is not known, scholars have thought that the word "selah" which often appears in Psalms and Habakkuk means to stop and ponder. It usually occurs at a place where a very significant statement has been made, and it was understood that singers and musicians were to stop at these points to ponder what has been said. To "selah" is probably something we should do as well, after a significant event takes place so we can gain an understanding what God has done and is doing in His life. I would like to pause and ponder today. I am just blown away by God's goodness. My maternity cover role is now a permanent role, even before I started my job. This whole gruel process of God maturing me through hardships (so much work yet to be done in me), hard as it was, I don't know if I would trade it for a...

I really don't know how to compose this blog post because I intended it to be a reflection of what I have been learning from the books of the bible written by Moses. The problem is, there is so much I have learnt about God and myself in these books, and I can't make up my mind on which one I want to reflect on :) Hehe, how is that even a problem? I guess I'll just go with the flow, but there is a key one that really stood out to me about following Jesus in times of success (I'll leave it for the end of the post). A friend of mine introduced me to this YouTube channel, the Bible Project, and it has really helped with understanding the events that occurred while the Israelites were travelling in the wilderness to the Promised Land, and the strange laws God gave to the Israelites make so much more sense when you consider the wider context. I think what really stood out to me was how real God is in these books, as real as any person you and I will come across today. You ...

This obscure poem by Minnie Haskins was made famous by King George VI when he read it out during a Christmas broadcast to Britain in 1939. It comforted many during the second world war. But it is of course the God of hope in the darkest and most uncertain times this poem speaks of that makes the words so special, not that human royalty read it out. And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” And he replied: “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.” So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East. So heart be still: What need our little life Our human life to know, If God hath comprehension? In all the dizzy strife Of things both high and low, God hideth His intention. God knows. His will Is best. The stretch of yea...

I enjoy a good glass of wine. I don't pretend to be an expert in wine, but I do love the fruity and aromatic scents my nose detects as it hovers over my glass of wine and the balance of acidity with the right amount of sweetness as that smooth gorgeous liquid graces my taste buds. Jesus first ever miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. The couple had run out of wine and back in those days, not only was it a social embarassment to run out of wine, you could be penalised (legally) for not having enough wine to serve at a wedding and Jewish weddings went on for days. I was quite shocked to find out recently that it is estimated that the amount of water Jesus turned into "the finest wine" was 2,250 litres! :S As I am writing this, my thoughts drift to last Friday night as I was walking back to my sister's apartment. There were many people staggering about the streets, some were shouting at the top of their lungs and there was even a brawl that involved...

I have not blogged in such a long time. I guess blogging reminds me of writing my thesis, which to be honest, I haven't really enjoyed. Haha. Where am I now? I am (nearly) done with my doctorate - my thesis is due at the end of May, and I'm gearing up to submit it by then. Then, it takes around 6 months for examiners to mark it. In the meantime, I am looking out for possible jobs that I can apply for. It's exciting that I am nearly there. However, because this journey has been so rough and looooooong (much like the mountain I climbed over the weekend which left my thighs feeling quite sore), I feel less passionate than when I first started pursuing this dream of mine. The disappointments have been hard on this traveller's feet. I think when I first set out to pursue a career, I was caught between many things: what I wanted, what my parents want, what society expects of me, and what does God want. While I've been pursuing this career, I have been so focus...